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oh...America; 12 things you can do Now to heal the hurt

healing love

oh America


I have to write.
I have to try to get the words out of me.
I haven't been this dumb-stuck by national news since 9/11.

I know that not everyone will agree with me and that's okay. Look past my views into the real message.

I'm saddened by America's choice.
I'm hurt and scared for our future.

I was really hoping for a Wise Grandmother to step in and take the lead; to balance out the masculine energy of our leadership; to set an example for the world.

Did I think Hillary could do that? I hoped she would.

I do absolutely respect her and her years of public service. I admire her work ethics and her ability to loyally do the work that was asked of her even if it wasn't the work she wanted to do.
I respect her ability to make the hard decisions and take responsibility for her mistakes.
I also recognize that she wasn't perfect and that she made many over the years.
I saw her potential and I respected her for it.

Still I wasn't sure if she would be the Great First Woman President of the United States because she was so controversial and because the majority didn't love her
*even though she did everything a great male candidate would do only she did it backwards, in high heels with a bow in her hair.*

And I still voted for her because the alternative was worse.

He portrayed himself worse. He lacked the poise and temperament of a great leader. He lacked the tack and compassion of someone in charge of a country. He stood on the podium and spewed hatred and fear and division.

Maybe that was all showmanship. Maybe he didn't really mean it. In which case his actions were irresponsible because they sparked a fire in the people that will have reverberating consequences around the world. Or maybe he did mean it and we'll all be sorry.

I don't believe half the country loves him, just as I don't believe half the country loves her. I believe half the country chose what they thought would be the lesser of two evils and it just weighed in his favor – by a very narrow margin.

This is what hurts me the most.
It hurts because it's never been more blatantly obvious how divided we are as a country. It was a rude awakening. 

I feel the underlying pain and frustration of millions of people. I feel both sides; all sides.

I feel the fear of the people who voted for Her. The ones who have always been on the fringes; who've been fighting for decades; centuries to be treated equally. The ones who have just recently been heard and begun their healing.

I feel the frustration and anger of those who voted for him. People who feel like they are being marginalized; who feel like their livelihood is being taken away; who feel like the status quo of Washington is to blame and are tired of crooked politicians and greasy palms and backroom deals that screw the little guy.

I feel the grief and betrayal of those who chose to vote third party; knowing that their candidate didn't stand a chance and that they'd have been a better choice for the country as a whole. Believing with bitter resentment that the campaign trail is rigged against the little guy.

I feel the angst and the hopelessness of those who didn't vote at all, who couldn't bring themselves to choose a candidate they didn't love or have given up on the system because it never seems fair or true.

I am wallowing in this overwhelming sea of emotions and wondering, where do we go from here.

We have to heal. We have to speak and be heard. All of us.

Not just the black populations or the LGBT populations or Women or Disabled but also those Blue-collar workers and the young collage age crowd and the Vets and the Seniors
We have to be kind to each other. We have to respect each other.

I understand why this happened: In our effort to bring light to the disenfranchised we've pushed others aside. We've dismissed their concerns, their pain,  as if one outweighed the other; as if we had to choose only one.

We dismissed one group over the other as if we couldn't all hurt for different reasons and then we believed that we couldn't all find solutions without dismissing the other.

It's a lack mentality. It's pervasive in our culture and it's bullshit. 

We don't have to choose one over the other. We can choose all. We can heal all, we can respect all, we can honor all.  We can be inclusive.

We have to be inclusive because that is the foundation of our country, the land of milk and honey, where anyone can achieve their dreams. We're all welcome here. All races, gender, religion, creed, sexual preferences. 

I see the opportunity to grow together; to patch the cracks of our broken collective with gold. To make us a better people.
We can do it.
Dan Rather stated in a Facebook post morning, “One thing I have learned, however is never to bet against the resilience of men and women in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges.”

Dan Rather quote

Filling in the divide does seem like an insurmountable challenge however if we succeed, it will make us stronger and more united.

We are Americans.

That still means something!

But how?  I think the best thing I've heard on this came from a woman in one of the empowerment groups I belong to, Penny said, “True change never comes from the top but starts slowly at the bottom and winds its way through the population as more and more people become aware.”

How do we change? Where do we start?

We start simple. We start with ourselves.

In that same conversation on Facebook, Jody stated. “I am a Priestess of Darkness. We must all go through the “dark night of soul” to heal and become fully ourselves.”

We must enter the cauldron.

We must do the shadow work to know ourselves, our fears, our insecurities our prejudices.
We must heal our own wounds so we don't project them onto others.
We must recognized our weaknesses so that we don't persecute others for having them.
We must change our beliefs and realize it is no longer us against them.

We're all in this together.

And while we're doing that work, because there are many many layers to peel through and it takes time, and its often painful....

  1. We must be kind to others. We must find compassion, We must dig deep sometimes and find the strength to go high when we really want to go low; to choose happy when we can't find a reason, to have faith in the dark room that is now our country. 
  2. Be gentle and kind with yourself. Practice daily gratitude. 
  3. Do nice things; things that make you feel good. Treat yourself, take time off. Forgive yourself.
  4. And then do nice things for others; call and check up on people, shovel the neighbors walk, bake someone cookies, give hugs freely
  5. Let's reinstate RAOK, Random Acts of Kindness; pay for someones coffee, give a stranger a flower or 
  6. Leave Love Letters for strangers in public places, 
  7. Open doors. 
  8. Hold elevators.
  9. Smile - smile at the grumpy people regularly. Smile at the happy people and the lonely people and the distracted people. 
  10. Say please and thank you and excuse me. 
  11. Fill your Facebook feed with hearts instead of thumbs.  
  12. Share inspirational messages instead of cynical jokes.

Do what you can, with what you have, from where you are.

Little things like that makes a difference.

They make a difference to the people on the receiving end but more importantly they make a difference to ourselves. It raises our own vibration which in turn raises the vibration of the collective. We ARE all connected.

I hope writing this will help me process the emotions I'm feeling.

I also hope this gives you a sense of power, so you don't feel so helpless in these crazy times. I may have more to say in future posts or I may just focus my energy on creating life affirming art.

I welcome your comments, even if you disagree with me, just please keep the vibration high.

Lets learn to communicate our differences and practice supporting those whose opinions we oppose. It's the gold that will fill in the cracks of our country. 

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