Writing the Wisdom of your Soul
I just know.
I don't know how I know but I know.
I'm sorry that my knowing makes you uncomfortable.
I understand you wanted to keep this secret.
I promise I won't use this to hurt you, if fact I think I can help, if you let me.
I get the impression that it's not only that you don't want me to know, but you wish you didn't know either.
I get the impression that you've been hiding from this for a long time.
It causes a lot of guilt and shame in you, doesn't it?
Shhhh......It's okay...Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly.
Feel that, let it move through you.
It's okay if you cry, I'll just sit here with you.
How about some chamomile tea?
There you go.
If you want to tell your story, I'll listen. I already know the important part, the end result. It does help to tell. It's an opportunity to get it out of you and let it go.
It'll give you a chance to feel the feelings so they can move through you.
I know something else.
I know when this is no longer trapped inside you that you will see things differently. And maybe, you won't feel so bad about you.
You are amazing and strong and incredibly brave!
*digs in pocket* Here's a rose quartz. Hold on to it.
Now place your hand on your your chest, right there in the center. Breathe slowly..... Feel that? That's your center. Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed by the emotions do this.
The High Priestess represents that Inner Knowing.
I can't count the times I've known things I shouldn't know or how many people I've offended or freaked out with that information. It had gotten to the point where I didn't even want to talk to anyone because I was sure I would alienate them.
And yet I don't block the information. Knowing is always better than not knowing. I just learned to censor my words.
I don't 'see' things. I don't 'hear' things. I just know.
I also have the ability to randomly access obscure fact and useless information.
I excel at Trivia Pursuit.
Knowing thing is like that. Like maybe I read it somewhere, sometime a while back and now that its relevant, I remember.
I've yet to figure out how to use this gift to help others.
I was on the road to becoming a counselor when life took a hard right turn. It's possible I'll make my way back there but if not, at least I have the skills I learned; like how to ask a question so as not to offend someone.
I think I was trying to avoid this card. I skipped it in my doll series.
A while back, In one of my private journals I was doing a mental dump with automatic writing. When I do that, I write for 20-30 minutes straight without really thinking about it and then put it away. I'll go back in a day or so to read what I wrote and hopefully gain some clarity.
The last line of the entry read:
I want to be a priestess not a nun
That completely freaked me out.
Like cold-sweat-heart-racing-walking-into-algebra-class-naked-without-my-homework freaked out.
I don't know why.
I'm not sure what a Priestess does or if what I'm seeking is more symbolic than literal.
It's something I'll sit with for a while.